Too Stupid, Too Brainwashed, Too Prejudiced to flourish.

Here is the Litmus Test to help you to vote

Do you hate welfare and cite that some people cheat?
Do you tell people that you know some use food stamps to buy beer?
Have you dropped out because both Republicans and Democrats are both bad?
Do you vote Republican because Dems gave black people equality?
Are you against a minimum wage increase?
Are you against equal pay for equal work?
Do you believe gays should not have the same rights as straights?
Are you O.K with privatizing Social Security and Medicare?
Do you believe the Affordable CarecAct should be defunded and repealed?
Should all abortion clinics be closed?
Should we give tax breaks to the wealthiest?
Do you believe it is O.K. to hamper people's vote on the guise that it prevents fraud.
Are you against contraception coverage in health insurance?
Was it O.K. For Congress to take so many weeks off?
Is it O.K. With you if billionaires buy elections as long as your party benefits?
Do you really believe that the U.S. Government is not handling Ebola correctly?
Do you believe that Bush and Chaney do not have blood on their hands?
Do you hate Barak Obama?'
Do you think Raegan was a model President?

If I have, more or less profiled you correctly, I need not add another hundred lines here, you are a card carrying Republican, and the best thing you can do for your country, for your flag, for your family, is to stay home and not vote.

CARTAGENA, COLIMBIA,

A town, on the Carobbean Coast Region, a port city.  Population like San Francisco with beautiful beaches, the color of the water is as exotic and romantic as the sunsets. There are tons for tourists and prostitution is legal.  So, let's say you are advanced scouts from the White House staff or the (shhhhh) Secret Service and you are a dude, and need to kill a few hours before being pressed into service, so you pick up the phone and dial 1-800-Rent-A-Hoe.

A sultry voice asks you to dial 1 for English, and then you hear a whisper telling you what is available and who.  A few items your wife would be loathe to do and some you would not dare ask.  In a knee jerk reaction, you pick one from Group A and three from Group B.  With a sigh, you took a pass on Group C because you're economic status would have to be Hedge Fund Manager or the equivalent. The 3rd item from Group B, is the Bavarian Basket Twist, the details of which are outside of your knowledge base, but you can't resist a lifetime of bragging rights.

Now, one of your buds thought the quote was in Pesos and Roxy said it was Dollares.  Roxy was overheard saying, "no senior, ju no pay only 300 Pesos for being bound and getting a good spanking"
and he stiffs her and she dials up the government Hoe Complaint Departmrnt and the supervisor (who has a different title in the U.S.), in turn, calls Washington and all hell breaks loose.

CARTAGENA.... Wonder what the weather is like in November?

THE SECRET SERVICE....... I HAVE THE SOLUTION.

I have a theory that the Sequester budget cuts took away the wrist watch phones and Cracker Jacks secret code rings severely impacting THE secret Service's ability to follow procedures, communicate and the morale took s hit.  If that wasn't bad enough, they couldn't even commiserate with with hookers without it making the headlines of the supermarket tabs.  One Hoe gets stiffed and she blows a whistle so to speak and it leads to a drunken stupor.  The leader of our SS was woman who wanted the service to be more friendly and cozy like Disneyland.

A guy with a knife jumps the fence and gets into the White House and runs around, a couple uses the White House like a reality show, bullets fired at the building. A dude rides up the elevator with the POTUS carrying heat, a deviant doing signing next to POTUS in South Africa. I mean WTF.  

At first I thought to bring in Paulie and Silvio, but I'm also thinking Robert Gates as the Skipper.